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Welcome to More Than Single a look at life through the eyes of a 30 something single gal in full time ministry and leadership...

Valentines Day

Valentines Day

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Happy Valentine’s Day ya’ll! According to a quick instagram poll last week 62% of you were all about it and 38% hated it. And then there was a few of you who sent me DMs saying you didn’t mind it, just didn’t know what to do with it. I hear you!

I’ve been a single Pringle for all but one of my Valentine’s Days. In my early 20’s I often did things on Valentine’s Day to avoid being alone and depressed - like rounding up girlfriends and going out to dinner. At that time even walking past all the Valentine's Day decorations in the store would get me down no matter how outrageous they were. (Seriously, why does Valentine’s Day have the cheesiest decor ever?)

Valentine's Day started to become fun when I was able to take the focus off of myself and started looking for ways to love others. It became a chance to communicate to the people I love that I love them, and I don’t need a boyfriend to do that. Do I wish I had a boyfriend showing up on my door step with flowers and chocolates? Of course - hello, I love that stuff. But the desire for that doesn’t stop me from enjoying other things right now. Like writing notes to all of my sisters and planning surprises for friends. I still get to communicate to people my love for them.

Desiring someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with isn’t a wrong thing. I’m there friends. But our desire doesn’t have to consume us and rob us of other joys. Desire isn’t a black and white experience unless we let it be (i.e. “I want a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse etc and can’t be happy until I get what I want”).

Desire can co-exist with peace. It doesn’t have to consume us. The only thing scripture tells us should consume us is the love of Christ. If your desire is all consuming, it may be in a place that its not meant to occupy. When our desire grows that large, It’s often because we haven’t allowed ourselves to grieve. Pain has a way of turning things into obsession.

If Valentine’s Day is painful for you I invite you to grieve. Acknowledge it’s difficult and that you are lonely (single or married) and bring your heart before the Lord. His very name is Comforter! And He wants to be that for you. Let Him remind you of who He is and who you are.

If you are a part of a couple I laughingly suggest you to ask your significant other what their expectations and desires are for Valentine’s Day. Surprises are great and if you know what they would like, go for it! Just don’t be afraid to ask or to give feedback if you are hitting the mark with each other or not. A secret? Communication is way more sexy than we realize because it actually builds intimacy.

If a single Pringle describes you, I invite you to look for someone you can make the day special for - your grandma, neighbor, niece, sister, friend etc. These days I still go out with friends or host a game night because its fun to celebrate. I love opening up my home to be a space for people to who could be lonely. If you want to do something, I challenge you to ask a friend to go do somewhere with you or host a gathering together. We all need community!

And most of all? Laugh! I’m planning on laughing at lot this year. I’m hosting a contest in Instagram’s stories for the best (worst) Valentine’s Day puns/memes. Follow along and join the fun @morethansingle. Remember you are loved by the Father!

Motherhood of a Different Kind

Motherhood of a Different Kind

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